So we have this little black dog and he occasionally gets a little neurotic and pees in the hallway.
My theory is that he does it when he thinks he’s home alone. We crate him and the other dog when we’re not home, but sometimes The Lovely Rhonda leaves for work before I get up and I think that Jake, for that is his name, forgets that I’m home and figures it’s his opportunity to saunter down the hall and leave us a little token of his esteem.
This morning was one of those mornings, and after putting enzyme solution and a towel on the offending spot, I texted TLR to inform her of her dog’s actions.
He’s not my dog. He’s HER dog.
MY dog is the one we got to keep HER dog company. MY dog digs holes in the yard and is too mouthy, but what he does NOT do is pee in the house.
So anyway. TLR came home from work and looked at the hall and festered about the pee stains until I got home.
We decided to think about laminate flooring. We decided to do this at Ikea, because reasonably priced probably horse-meat-free meatballs. Sadly, Ikea is phasing out their laminate flooring, at least at our location, so even after traipsing all over the store we came away empty-handed. Well, sort of. It was Ikea. We had to buy a Kermit-the-frog-green spatula and some other odds and ends. One does not simply leave Ikea without buying things. Gah.
And we ate dinner. Because HELLO MEATBALLS, GET IN MY BELLY.
What should we have been doing? Going home to do our homework, of course. What did we do? We went to Home Depot instead.
So now we have laminate flooring. Because painting the entire interior of the house isn’t enough to do.
This is where Kenny comes in. He comes in, rips out carpet, and lays down laminate flooring like a boss. He does this without displaying more than a soupçon of buttcrack, and for this we shower him in money. And sarcasm.