Monthly Archives: September 2021

Fat Loser


So just over a week ago I stepped onto the scale, as I do every morning when not vacationing in some exotic locale, expecting that I would still be burdened by the same couple of wretched pounds I’ve been struggling with for the past few weeks.

I embarked upon this one way ticket to smallerness (a new word I just made up, patent pending etc etc) toward the end of February in anticipation of surgery on March 14th. We had eaten as we pleased the last few weeks before starting the preop diet, having numerous “food funerals” along the way.

I’m now going to put numbers in this accounting of my Slog Toward Smallerness, which is something I’ve put off doing because numbers make it real. Numbers make it specific, and bring shame upon the weight bearer. Numbers lay the body bare.

I started this at 295 pounds exactly, according to my bathroom scale, stark naked at the end of the day.

Ok so weighing yourself to get your starting weight at the end of the day is kind of cheating, because you generally weigh more at the end of the day, especially after having several last meals of fatty deliciousness. Then when you weigh yourself in the mornings, after using the restroom and shedding your pajamas, you magically seem to have lost more weight than perhaps you can take actual credit for. But still. That’s my official starting weight. (Shh, just let me have this.)

Surgery weight was 271. This was after three weeks of the preop diet which is designed not for weight loss so much as to shrink your poor, bloated liver. If you’re overweight, chances are high that your liver is fatty. They have to get in behind the liver to hack mercilessly at surgically remove part of your stomach, so the risks to you are reduced if your liver is petite and well-behaved. Still, I lost 24 pounds eating almost no carbs and a limited amount of protein for those three weeks.

In the ensuing six months since surgery I have lost an additional 72 pounds, for a total of 96. I now weigh under 200 pounds for the first time since I was about thirty.

That’s what I found out that day when I stepped on the scale, expecting to see some variation of Not Yet Under 200 Pounds. Instead I saw the blessed display: 199.5

I set this as my first major goal, to reach “onederland,” and decided my prize would be a Levi’s jacket. I had one in high school and have always wanted another.

I ordered it and it should be here before too long.

I feel amazing.

My next goals will be probably ten pound increments — weight loss is still occurring but has slowed down considerably, since moving around now takes less energy and my body is starting to fight back and try to hold onto its beloved avoirdupois. But I think I can take a few more pounds off. My goal has never been to be stick thin or wear a certain size — just to be healthy and comfortable. If I never lost another ounce it would have been worth it and I’d be perfectly happy. I’m off metformin, my cholesterol is good, I can walk farther and do more things, I just feel better. Life is very, very good.