Road Trip!

Standard

So TLR and I packed up the young’uns into a rental minivan and took this show on the road yesterday morning. TLR has been in a frenzy of repressed plannage owing to the pandemic and the pressure has been intense, so one might have thought that everything would have been meticulously arranged down to the minutest of details, but we decided to take a different tack this time. So we really only know what we’re doing up to the day after tomorrow, and after that we have barely an inkling of what could happen.

We departed The Swamp a mere 25 minutes later than the ridiculously insane 8am that TLR demanded we leave. We first observed the traditions of our people and bought enormous lattes so that we’d have to stop at least hourly, thus fulfilling the recommendation that we stretch our legs frequently while traveling. It’s science!

Eventually after about seventeen million hours of driving (narrator: probably four hours) punctuated by at least two pit stops we reached Snoqualmie Falls, which as you might guess is a waterfall. We watched the river plunge majestically over the cliff for about thirty seconds and then we all had to pee again, so after a visit to the Little Road Trippers’ Room we forged on.

We made a pit stop in Spokane during which we had dinner with my dad at a newly opened Texas Roadhouse Restaurant. There we watched some deeply unpleasant people come unglued because their giant party could not all be seated together, in accordance with current regulations. We then drove on to the first of our painstakingly chosen accommodations, the T-rail M-otel.

Friends. You know that saying, “you get what you pay for”? Please take that saying to heart, because if you’re referring to a certain motel in Kellogg, Idaho, you’re going to want to remember it.

As an example, take a look at the highly technical and expertly installed television setup that greeted us:

State of the art home theater!

From here we move on to the luxurious sitting area, featuring a minimalist theme so authentic they have eschewed even the plebeian constructs of electrical outlet covers. Daring!

Fashionably austere!

Of course what’s a high end suite without a richly appointed bath?

The grunge look has come back in.

The view from the w.c. was inspiring as well.

Lavish!

The room also featured an art installation of taxidermied local wildlife.

Pretty sure this is a Chihuly.

Crooked = Bohemian

Also see that notice about “smoke free room”? It’s so accurate! Our rooms didn’t smoke at all! … the dudes next door did though.

And boy did we feel safe! Especially after we saw the three police officers patrolling the parking lot.

Up next: why we urgently need to find a car wash in Bozeman, Montana.

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