The Committee Has Spoken


So probably both of you have heard that marriage equality passed in Washington, meaning that gay folk can finally make their status semi-legal.  Yes, yes, it turns out that several of us are seeking to be bound by the holy bonds of matrimony, and so far eleven states in the union have decided that if we want it that bad, so we should have it, or at least what version of it is obtainable without federal recognition.  Which of course is an ongoing struggle, but not one I’ll go into here.

The point here is that suddenly I’m engaged to be married.  MARRIED.  LEGALLY MARRIED.  (Sort of.  See above.)

When The Lovely Rhonda and I got together, four years ago, it was amid pretty much a metric ton of strife and we clung to each other like life preservers in the boiling seas of nursing school, familial disapproval, societal disapproval, angry ex-spouses, financial hardship, you name it.  Each one of those things could have split us up.  One might expect that perhaps once the stress died down a little (NOT THAT THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED OMG) we might have found that all that stress was the only thing keeping us together, but it turns out that we’re disgustingly happy.  Still.  After four years and some change.

So we’ve chit-chatted about getting married, always in the theoretical, and early on I opined that legal marriage for people like us would not happen in this country in my lifetime.

You can see how well that’s working out for me.


Anyway, the Family Committee has been hard at work deciding things in light of this new development.

It was decided last night over Swedish meatballs at Ikea that yes, in fact, we should marry.

Then later, after we had returned home, three-fifths of the Committee summoned us to Committee Headquarters for a wedding-planning meeting.

Somehow during this meeting one of the Committee members, no names mentioned (IT WAS RHONDA), brought up the fact that the party of the second part had never in fact ASKED the party of the first part to marry her, ON BENDED KNEE AS IS PROPER.  This was expressed with much eye-rolling and tiny jerks of the head to indicate that the party of the second part had best get going on this before the party of the first part lost patience with the whole thing.  Therefore was I obliged to assume the position and make my request.

At this point the party of the second part had to obtain consensus from the remaining three Committee members, and the dog, who all agreed, gravely and with a certain amount of sneaky face-licking on the part of the dog, that it should be so.   And thus was the engagement formally entered into the record, i.e. posted on Facebook.

A sub-committee will be meeting today to discuss food, decor, etc.  It looks like this thing might actually happen, unless of course some more people who want to hog the misery civil rights find another way to try and keep us down.

It turns out we won’t be kept down, and even if it were never recognized, we will still carry on being our gay selves and having our gay families and living our gay lives.  We’re not just pretty strong.  We’re gay strong.


2 responses »

  1. Well, congratulations!! I hope that you see your dream to fruition. 🙂

    I’ve heard that legalizing gay rights is being hindered by the whole Mormon thing. Whoever I heard talking about it on the radio said that it would be hard to limit the law to just gays and that the Mormons would push their idea of marriage (one man, many women) as well–and that this country isn’t ready for that.

    Have you heard that too? Just wonderin’…

  2. I hadn’t heard that, and I know that the Mormons turned strongly against polygamy some time ago, so I don’t know how true it is. I think it’s pretty easy to stipulate that marriage is between two consenting adults regardless of gender. The argument for more than two parties being involved is not really an issue so far as I have heard, at least not among the main body of the gay community. There are always fringe groups, but being gay is about as fringey as I personally get so I’m not terribly knowledgeable about such things.

    Interestingly the right-wing conservative hyper-religious (I’m resisting saying reactive weirdos, but it’s hard) set has enjoyed saying that if we let the gays marry, next people will want to marry their pets, their family members, etc etc. I’ve never seen the connection, personally. Person does not equal animal, and what we know about genetics dictates how closely people should, or more importantly should not be related in order to marry. Everybody likes to freak out about stuff. As far as I know, my relationship with the future Mrs. Me has caused no harm to any heterosexual couple’s marriage. So far, anyway!

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