So last night we let the Collective Spawn dork out to their respective Nintendos and just play and hang out. It was the end of the first real week of school and they were all pretty tired. At the appropriate time we herded them off to bed thinking smugly to ourselves that they were so exhausted they would sleep well.
The middle child kept getting up. MAMA I CAN’T SLEEP. For two hours. Finally at 11pm she stopped.
I was not foolhardy enough to think that this meant she would sleep in. I have known these children for some time and it is apparent that these particular children do not “sleep in.”
At 5:40am the youngest child entered Grown-Up Land to inform The Lovely Rhonda that she could not find her sharpened pencil with which to do her Giant Workbook of Kindergarten Fun. She was duly notified that at 5:40am nobody was the least bit interested in finding a pencil, sharpened or otherwise, with which to do anything non-violent and that she should be backing slowly out of the room by now.
Actually it went more like, GO BACK TO BED OMG IT’S 5AM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Naturally I now had to use the restroom and in doing so found the middle child, the completely knackered one with the dark circles under her eyes, cozily playing her Nintendo in bed.
I am sorry to say that I did not merely creep back to Grown-Up Land to inform TLR but instead removed the Nintendo from her clutches and stated that it was 5am and she should return to sleep.
Mayhem ensued, and the shrieks of the unjustly persecuted rang throughout the house. It is only by some miracle that the oldest child never woke up.
I finally got out of bed at 6:50ish since I was coughing too hard to sleep anyway and found the middle child snoring and the youngest one sobbing in her bed. An hour later.
Youngest child is now working on her workbook and finding reasons to enter and exit her room as often as possible in the hopes that she will find one of her sisters awake.
My mother once told me that when you wake up in the morning and lay in bed figuring out exactly how soon you can feasibly return to bed, you are an adult.
I think I have been an adult since I was nine.