So it’s Monday again. I’d really like to speak with whoever’s in charge about how the weekends fly by and suddenly it’s Monday and I didn’t get half the shit done I meant to do and now I have to go to work again.
It started oh so fantastically with waking up abruptly and realizing that there was light filtering in around the bedroom curtains. Um, why didn’t my alarm go off? Oh of course! Because my phone decided to turn itself off in the night, and that way the alarm wouldn’t go off, and now I’m late for Helga. Dammit!! Lucky for me Helga, although only a minor demon in the grand scheme of things, still possesses the ability to reschedule gym appointments for slightly later in the morning without regard to the usual rules governing time and other peoples’ schedules. This isn’t the training session you’re looking for.
Okay, fine, he didn’t have any other appointments until later in the morning. But my version is more fun.
While bench pressing a bar with ridiculously tiny weights perched on it, I came up with a great idea: instead of these very dense itty-bitty petite little weights that look like Minnie Mouse is taking up powerlifting, they should make an outer shell you put over them to make them look much larger and more impressive. Because really, these weights looked like little birds, like tiny sparrows resting on the bar. Tiny cheerful little sparrows that announced to the entire gym that I am weak and pathetic.
Of course the drawback would be that someone with real strength might accidentally fling them up and hit a ceiling light with them, but a certain amount of discreet maneuvering should keep them out of the hands of brutes like these. And, says Helga, you could use them for flotation when you do water aerobics.