Subterfuge

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So a while back The Lovely Rhonda sat before her computer and giggled madly while typing something.  She then told me she knew what I was getting for Christmas.

Well, I’m no rocket surgeon but I narrowed down the list of people she could be chatting with on her computer and determined that there was a high likelihood that it was our friend Josh, and if he was involved in whatever my gift was going to be, it was probably computer related.  So I texted him.  It turns out that he’s a pretty bad liar even via text.

Obviously I had to have him make one for her too.  Our laptops are too elderly to play the newer generations of games, and because we are total dorks, this is important to us.

So for a whole MONTH, which is like fifty years in Keeping a Surprise Secret from The Lovely Rhonda time, I had to sit on this.  Josh, because he is a guy, had virtually no discernible difficulty with it, and kept me posted as to whether Rhonda seemed to be figuring anything out.

Finally, last Friday Delia and I drove out to see my cousin as a pretense to venture far afield and drop by Josh’s to pick up the goods.  Delia is seven years old but there was no way to smuggle the gift home without her seeing it so I had to let her in on it and swear her to secrecy.  Amazingly enough, she kept her little yap shut!  We even concealed it in her closet.

Yesterday we drove out to my Mom’s and picked Josh up on our way home.  He had some large boxes with him that were allegedly “for the children.”  Wink wink!

We put everything together for the girls’ Christmas last night and retired for the night.  It was getting REALLY HARD to keep it all a secret.

I didn’t set an alarm or anything, but at 1:40am my phone, having finished charging, lit itself up, and this was enough to wake me.  (Yes, I am usually this light of a sleeper.  Yes, it’s a complete drag most of the time.)

I put on my sneaky slippers and sneaked around the house, unplugging Josh’s old machine that Rhonda had been using and replacing it surreptitiously with the new machine.  Then, to conceal its extremely pink-ness, I draped my black jacket over it.  In the murky shadows it did well enough to camouflage the beacon of girlishness that is the new tower.  Did I mention that it’s pink?  So very pink.

I was made to open the computer last, and squee’ed as convincingly as possible, and then handed her her new monitor which I had wrapped and put under the tree with the instruction to open last.  So she thought she was just getting a new monitor.  A new, 21.5 inch LCD monitor.

But no.

I asked her to climb under the table and unplug her old one while I got the new one out of the box.

Now, she’s happily killing Imperial sympathizers at highest resolution with virtually no lag.

God bless us, every one!

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