Helga, Helga, Helga.

Standard

So today’s torture session commenced with a few minutes of DeathMastering for warmup.  Then we moved on to some horrible machine, then another one, then pushups with the bar yet LOWER.  Helga tried some Jedi mind tricks on me but I didn’t just climb out of the trash compactor yesterday.  I could tell it was lower.

A lot of what we do seems to involve squatting, which is a posture that I try never to assume in public.  What does this mean?

Then when the torment had finally come to an end I was encouraged (at gunpoint, natch) to continue the agony once again by engaging in yet more of this horrific “cardio” on the DeathMaster or similar.

I told Helga how I had completely bonked at 8 minutes last time I had tried to do this “cardio” after a session.   He merely laughed at my weakness and taunted me mercilessly.

Okay, so that’s totally untrue, but it would be funnier if it was.

This time I complied with his demented request to do 15 minutes.  I did pause once at I think 13 minutes?  For the one whole minute that it lets you do.   I was panting like Lamaze class and sweating like a pig.  The gym makes me feel so pretty!

I’m sure I could push the pause button again for another minute if one minute was just not enough, but, and I am totally not making this up, the first time that I wrote about this?  I was so dismayed by the whole thing that that honestly never occurred to me.

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE IT’S SAD.

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