Never Again I MEAN IT


So we paid off my two crappy high interest rate credit cards recently.

It turns out that credit card companies really hate it when you want to pay them off, and they make it difficult to do so.  You have to OVERPAY them and then they issue you a refund.

I sat in the loan officer’s office and called AdventureCard first.  I need a payoff quote, I told the Hired Stooge.  I’m closing my account.  Okay! came the cheerful reply, here’s the amount, and I’m closing the account per your request.  And then the usual folderol about how they could possibly help me in any other capacity, and have a nice day, and whatever.  Seemed easy.

Too easy.

A month later, long after receiving my check, they attempted to assess an interest charge.  I called them.  Well I see no record of a request for payoff.  It looks as though you just made a balance inquiry, says Bitchy Account Representative.   But I didn’t make a balance inquiry, I tell her.  I specifically stated that I wanted a payoff quote.  Well Hired Stooge should have explained the process which is that we estimate the accrued interest for ten days past the date of your call and you pay that and then we refund you the difference, says BAR.  But he didn’t do that, he just told me a number and that was it, I tell her.  Well I wasn’t there and I can’t confirm that, it’s not recorded here, she says. Well then you need to talk to Hired Stooge, then.  Because we based the loan on the amount he quoted me.  Yes ma’am, she says.  But you still owe for the charge.

The next day The Lovely Rhonda calls back, speaks firmly to someone higher up the food chain, and the charge is dropped.   She’s so much better at this than I am.

On to BlasterCard.  The account was overpaid (because their representative actually gave me a payoff quote and not a stupid balance) but two weeks later they attempted to assess an interest charge.  I called them today.

This should be read with a comically exaggerated Heavy Accent, Not Otherwise Specified:

Hello ma’am my name is (something foreign), how may I help you?

(I explain the issue)

Yes ma’am, I do show a balance in your favor of sixty dollars and some change.  I can issue that back to you in the form of a check.

(No, I said that a charge was assessed two weeks after the account was closed, the balance should be twice that much, that’s why I’m calling.)

Yes ma’am, I can send you that amount of sixty dollars and some change.


*fumble fumble* Yes ma’am I must place you on the hold while I look into this matter.

(precious minutes of my life pass during which I age exponentially faster than usual; when our friend Some Foreign Guy returns, it is all I can do to hold the phone up in my shriveled, decrepit hand)

Eh, yes ma’am, it will take some days to look into this matter.  You must to call back on the Tuesday.

And so I shall call back on the Tuesday.  To arrange for my own money to be returned to me.







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