Living the Nightmare


So last night I slept rather poorly and woke up with a gnarly headache.  I was grouchy to the wife and took some ibuprofen and went back to bed, and when I woke up again I was all stuffed up.  Probably the reason for the headache.  It’s alleviated somewhat since I got up.  Allergies?

Anyway, between waking up the first time and the second time, I had those crazy dreams that sometimes happen in the early morning.  Because I was already Little Miss Crabby Pants, they were grumpy dreams in which I complained a lot but nobody seemed to care.  MUCH LIKE MY REAL LIFE!

But I digress.  *cough*

The first one, we were living in some small apartment, but it was really this house (you know how the dreams are) and The Lovely Rhonda rearranged the living room AGAIN.  Only this time instead of one large altar of entertainment (the idiot box), there were FOUR.  She was unable to understand why this distressed me.  Plus there was clutter everywhere, far more than my clutter tolerance could endure.  I had reached the clutter threshold and was approaching clutter critical mass.  Yet again, NOBODY CARED.

Oh, the humanity.

The second dream was annoying.  We had been somewhere and were returning to the van (why would I not dream about driving the sporty little car?  Why would I dream about driving the minivan? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME) and found the doors open and all the seats gone.  Like, the front seats, the middle seat, the back seat.  All gone.  And I angrily complained about how much people suck and how were we going to get home.  And again, the wife had no idea what I was so upset about.  She was all shrugging and being all, No big, we’ll just get a milk crate to sit on to drive home.  And I was all, BUT WOMAN WE GOT NO SEATS.  WHY DOES THIS NOT DISTRESS YOU?

On the positive side, the interior of the van looked pristine in a way that it has not looked since we first got it, but still.  Who steals the crappy snack-encrusted seats out of a minivan?  MY DREAMS, THAT’S WHO.



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