Eddie

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So we visited my cousin last weekend, Elder Spawn and I, and my cousin gave her a few dummy cellphones.  She works for Major Cellphone Provider and they have these demo handsets that look and feel just like real phones but are non functional.  They have pictures pasted on them to simulate what the screen would look like, and they unfold or slide or flip to open just like real phones.  When the company changes phone models the demos are usually just thrown in the trash, but my cousin has saved up a box of them to give to kids.  Little was I to know that the chitlins would go mad with joy to have them!

It’s not like we haven’t had toy phones for them before.  They’ve all had them.  But for some reason, maybe their current ages or maybe because the dummy phones are so realistic, these particular ones have captured their imaginations.

Last night ES gave the other two girls their phones.  Hilarity ensued.  Pretty soon ES comes to me, all smug-yet-modest, fairly smirking with importance.

“We’re twins, me and Middle Spawn.  We’re teenagers and we’re twins and we have boyfriends!”

Oh, I say.  Boyfriends.  How exciting!  What’s your boyfriend’s name?

“His name is Eddie Johnson.  And MS, her boyfriend is Steve Johnson.  And they’re twins too.”

Ooh, twins, I say.  How cool.  So, what makes Eddie your boyfriend?  What do you like about Eddie?

“He calls me ALL the time!  He’s ALWAYS asking me for a date.  I mean like ALL the time.”

At this point she exasperatedly answers her phone. “Eddie!  Stop calling me all the time!  I don’t want to go on a date!”

Later, MS has the same conversation with “Steve” except that “Steve” is apparently not commitment-phobic:  “No, Steve!  I said I don’t want to get married!”

Oh, to be six and five again.  When boyfriends all want to go on LOTS OF DATES, or maybe GET MARRIED!

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